


Crying at Three in the Morning

by Josselin



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-09-21
Updated: 2003-09-21
Packaged: 2018-01-20 17:01:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1518299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Josselin/pseuds/Josselin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After three nights, Melanie’s still in the hospital recovering from the infection she got after her C-section, but Lindsay’s at home with Gus and Sarah, struggling with an infant who only sleeps for twenty minutes at a time, and Gus, who at the arrival of his new little sister, wants to put her away in a box and have his mothers back to himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crying at Three in the Morning

After three nights, Melanie’s still in the hospital recovering from the infection she got after her C-section, but Lindsay’s at home with Gus and Sarah, struggling with an infant who only sleeps for twenty minutes at a time, and Gus, who at the arrival of his new little sister, wants to put her away in a box and have his mothers back to himself. Not having slept since the moment when Mel went into labor five nights ago, staring at the crying baby and crying Gus and starting to cry herself, Lindsay finally picks up the phone.

It hadn’t been this hard after Gus was born, because Mel had been around, and even Lindsay’s mother came over for a few rather tense days, and her cooking meals and doing some laundry had been a help. But her mother wouldn’t come over now, for a illegitimate baby that wasn’t even her own biological daughter’s, and Lindsay’s not even sure she would ask. Mel’s family don’t live in town, though her cousin Rita visited her at the hospital yesterday, bringing some hideously ugly pink flowers. And somehow, Lindsay feels like they were less prepared this time, partially because of Mel’s insistence that they not buy anything for the baby before she was born, and partially because somehow, unthinkingly, they both seemed to assume that since they knew more what to expect, it would somehow be easier and they didn’t need to talk about it quite as much, didn’t need to plan out every little detail staying up late in bed together.

Of course, most of that is just circumstances, as well. With Gus and their jobs and Mel’s worries about their health, Lindsay can’t even recall the last time they stayed up late in bed after sex, just talking and sharing the way they did when they were younger. Maybe there isn’t as much to share, now, maybe they’ve already shared almost everything and now there just isn’t as much to say and learn about each other.

But no, Mel can always surprise her. After all, the whole thing with Mel having a baby, that was a huge surprise, really, and sometimes, in her joy at having a secret dream fulfilled, she forgets how much of a surprise it actually was.

It occurs to Lindsay as she’s dialing the number, that someone like Deb might really be better equipped to help in this sort of situation, but Deb and Michael are probably just as tired as she is, having been up almost as long. And really, when she’s crying at three o’clock in the morning, there’s only ever been one person she would call. Like that time in college when she was so dedicated to the castration as punishment for rape cause, and she and Anita and Moe all climbed up the college’s water tower and spray-painted their slogan on it. Somehow, sitting in a holding cell at three in the morning, absolutely terrified to call her parents who were still reeling from her vehement coming out several months ago, the cause hadn’t seemed nearly as important as it had several hours before, and she was crying. Brian had come and picked her up, somehow found money for bail, but not only that, he made her feel like she’d even done the right thing, given her her confidence back in her cause and her beliefs, though he advised her that when doing that sort of thing, it was really better “not to get caught.” He had some tips on that score, as well.

Justin answers the phone after two rings, with a bleery voice, and she asks for Brian, wondering vaguely if Justin and Brian ever stay up late after sex and just talk for hours. Mel would scoff at the very idea of Brian doing something so romantic, but Lindsay isn’t quite willing to write it off.

“Yeah?” Brian’s voice finally comes over the line, and just hearing it, Lindsay starts to cry again.

“Bri? I need help.”

* * *

Brian comes over, takes in the scene of the three of them crying in one glance, and immediately takes charge. He finds out how to heat up Sarah’s formula and when she’s last eaten—Mel’s decided not to breastfeed despite Lindsay’s enticements about how sexy it would be and Michael’s public service announcements about the health benefits for mother and child. “I’m just not that kind of woman,” Mel repeated firmly, and that was her answer to most of the issues that came up during the pregnancy, which is maybe why they didn’t end up talking about it very much. And after Brian has the info about the formula, he steers Lindsay by the shoulders up to her bedroom and onto her bed, and then leaves to head back downstairs, closing her bedroom door behind him.

She falls asleep with vague worries—she is leaving both her children in the hands of Brian Kinney, after all—but she’s too exhausted to think about it very long.

When she wakes up, just over five hours later, she checks in Gus’s room to find him sleeping peacefully and sucking on his finger, and then she goes downstairs, padding softly on the steps, and stops halfway, overhearing Brian talking to Sarah in a conversational tone.

Brian doesn’t really have a conversational tone, which is what makes this Brian incarnation so odd. Brian has snide, sarcastic tones which he uses to point out all of your flaws, and Brian has authoritative tones imbued with condescension, as though telling you this is the stupidest thing he’s ever had to point out to anyone, and Brian has mocking falsettos and persuasive gruffly sexy tones, but Brian doesn’t have all that many neutral tones. He doesn’t have genuinely interested tell me about your life tones, which is maybe why Mel laughs at the idea of Brian and Justin having any sort of meaningful conversation.

But Brian’s talking to the baby now, not in the kind of stupid baby voice that Michael falls into so easily, but in a reasonable breakfast with coffee type of tone—and is that coffee she smells coming from the kitchen? She’s in love with Brian after all.

“You don’t really look like Mikey,” Brian’s telling Sarah, and Lindsay pokes her head around into the kitchen to see—yes, coffee burbling—and Brian walking back and forth holding the baby in front of him to make eye contact, the way he used to hold Gus when he was little. “I think you’ll be grateful for that in the end,” Brian continues. “But actually, your head looks kind of like a potato,” he concludes, and yes, there’s Brian’s ruthless honesty at the fore once again, and Lindsay smiles.

“Her head does not look like a potato,” Lindsay says, softly reprimanding, and Brian looks up, startled, his head snapping up to look at her the way a rabbit’s head suddenly pops up when you open the door to your back yard, right before loping away.

But Brian recovers quickly, handing Sarah over when Lindsay holds out her arms, and pouring Lindsay a mug of coffee, which she sips gratefully, holding Sarah in the curve of one arm. Brian stands behind her, resting his head on her shoulder, reaching one hand around to fuss with Sarah’s little sleeper, the other resting gently on Lindsay’s stomach.

“She’s not as cute as Gus,” Brian says finally, after comfortable moments of coffee and holding a finally not-screaming baby.

Lindsay just turns her head so that her and Brian’s foreheads are touching. She smiles slightly, and indulges Brian this once, since Melanie isn’t here. “No child could be as cute as ours,” she admits, and Brian kisses her softly, and then they both turn back to the baby.

END

**Author's Note:**

> Imported from: http://josselin.livejournal.com/8934.html


End file.
